♥ Mature Love 5 ♥

♥ Mature love makes room for the other to grow
♥ By interests I don’t mean hanging out
♥ I have my own friends
♥ One of the things I love about our relationship

Mature love makes room for the other to grow and to have different interests from your own, and knowing that keeping someone in bondage will not make the other love you more. Having the strength to allow the other some freedom will inevitably help the relationship to grow. As we mature as individuals it is truly important to recognize that as couples we cannot expect each person to have the exact same interests. Just because we are couples does not mean that we suddenly stop growing and/or stop having interests outside the relationship.

By interests I don’t mean hanging out with the guys and gals at the local bar. I do mean for instance that one or the other may be involved in sports or something like that. Hanging on to that persons’ every move and trying to stop him/her from pursuing that interest by using manipulation will not help the relationship to grow. By allowing them the freedom it sends a message of trust to the other and leaves room for the other half to do what they want to do. If not allowing the other to pursue their own interest is about a lack of trust on your part and you have no reason for not trusting, then you have an issue and you need to fix it up, if the other is not worthy of your trust, then, what are you doing with that person in the first place?

I have my own friends and I love to hang out with them when I have the opportunity to do so. When we go to our summer place on PEI, Canada, I spend as much time as I can with my friends over there; at the same time it gives Brian an opportunity to visit family and friends of his own. Typically, however, we spend most of our time together and do not ignore each others needs; we both come first before our families and friends.

One of the things I love about our relationship is that we do spend most of our free time together. I’m not big on doing things outside of our relationship nor is Brian. Some couples seem to be this way and there isn’t anything wrong with that, as long as both people are happy with it that way. Had I thought that he was the type to do a lot of alone stuff I probably wouldn’t have involved myself with him. Perhaps this is something to consider when you are getting involved with someone, ask yourself, “Does this person need a lot of alone time, is he/she involved with sports or other things that will keep him/her away from home, and if so, how will I feel about it?” Answer honestly because if you think you’re going to manipulate that person into changing after you get totally involved, forget it, you are only going to make the pair of you miserable.

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