♥ Mature Love 3 ♥

♥ Mature love comes with responsibility
♥ We eventually grow out of our teens
♥ All of it was easy to fall for
♥ We eventually got married
♥ I have seen this same scenario

Mature love comes with responsibility, to have both the other and yourself know these responsibilities, for example; what happens if we get pregnant? Love requires maturity to know what to do when things go wrong; we also need to have realistic expectations of the other, to know how the other will behave in the different situations that will arise in a relationship.

We eventually grow out of our teens and into adulthood, but many of us still didn’t get it, love was still about attraction to nice, cute, doing things like drinking, having sex, and relying on our emotions to establish whether we were in love or not. Love was often about need to be accepted, our need to be accepted and loved and we often did what we thought we needed to do to get that love. We believed all of the lies and fell for flattery, we also fell for the stories we heard and were told about, how glorious it was to be in a relationship, to be living with someone or being married.

All of it was easy to fall for, after all, all some of us had to do was look at our parents to see how wonderful marriage was, and we wanted more than anything to have what they had. The maturity and responsibilities they had when they got married never factored into the equation – we figured we were as mature as they were when they were married. Some of us were and ended up in long lasting relationships that worked out very well, however, too many of us were not mature enough and ended up in relationship hell.

We eventually got married because we believed we were in love. We expected the other to make us happy and to keep us that way. We had no idea that happiness comes from within and that our state of mind is our own responsibility. We figured we were in it for the long haul- long haul all right- we had no idea how long misery could last. We wanted to settle into being homemakers, wives and mothers – he wasn’t ready for that stuff, he wasn’t ready to give up having fun with his buddies – so we were off on the wrong foot and didn’t even have the maturity to talk about these differences, thinking they would all go away in time. We couldn’t even build a foundation none- the- less a solid house – so we built our dreams on sand, and the relationship came crashing down, crumpling into dust.

I have seen this same scenario played out in so many lives. There were plenty of girls who believed in independence and wanted nothing but a career; husbands and babies the furthest thing from their minds. Typically however, thousands of us grew up believing in the Cinderella story; we would grow up, fall in love with our prince charming, have babies and live happily ever after. Only thing is we never get to see what happens after Cinderella gets married, it may have worked out, but it may have fallen apart soon after just like up to 50% of all marriages do. Statistics drop however, as the age of the people who marry increases; they also depend on where people marry, different countries, different states etc. Teen marriages have a 1 in 3 chance of survival, understandable and sad.

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