♥ Communication and Love ♥

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

Dorothy Nevill

♥ Today I would like to focus on communication.

♥ Communication is an art.

♥ We have to keep in mind.

♥ I have learned that.

Today I would like to focus on communication with family, friends and our significant other. Relationships are hard work; however, if we know how to communicate in an effective and loving manner, the challenge diminishes significantly.

Communication is an art and it takes time and effort to learn to do so effectively. It's so easy for us to blurt out words, and so easy to misinterpret what is being said. We often just assume that we understand, this is important to recognize, especially when conflicts arise out of these misunderstandings, so before you blow up over what someone says, make sure you understand the message being conveyed.

We have to keep in mind that we all have feelings, concerns, and we are all looking for our own specific agenda, so lets be sensitive to this. In the meantime learn to;

♥ Listen, allow each person to communicate their feelings and concerns - be quiet - let them finish without interruption.

♥ Stay focused on the discussion hand, what others have to say is just as important as what you have on your mind.

♥ Look people in the eye, nod, and show them you are listening, that what they are saying matters to you.

♥ Encourage each other to continue, use praise, and use questions at appropriate times to show you care and are interested in them.

♥ Admit it when you are wrong and do not demand that you are right. Yes- even if you are right, even if you are a parent....you can still be wrong.

♥ Do not talk down to someone, do not use name calling or put downs, and do not allow others to do it to you.

♥ Use touch as a communication tool, a gentle touch on the hand, shoulder, or knee as you care and want to know what the other is expressing to you.

♥ And please, do not use terms like "you always" or "I never". It is highly unlikely that anyone "always" or "never" does or says something, sometimes is more likely.

♥ Do not forget to smile and use a bit humor once in a while, but be sensitive, use it appropriately, don't laugh at another’s' feelings.

♥ As well as not poking fun at the others' feelings do not use sarcastic tones, stop screaming, this will only make the other want to walk away. I know it is tough at times....try it anyway. No wonder others want to walk away, go to their rooms and slam doors, who wants to listen to someone screaming at them?

♥ Remember, feelings and opinions are just that! Take it easy, do not argue, you do not have to agree on everything.

♥ If you agree on a point, say so, if some things are not important to agree on, move on to more important things. Stop trying to change the other person - maybe "you" are the one who needs to change, chances are, you are not so perfect either.

♥ If it happened in the past, leave it there, however, if the issue was never dealt with, do so, at another time. One issue at a time please.

♥ Do not put words in another person's mouth, do not jump to conclusions, allow the other to finish their point before interjecting. Do use rephrasing; ask the other if what you think they are saying is what you understood. Then “shut up" and allow them to continue, be respectful, your time is coming to share your thoughts and feelings.

♥ Continue the discussion until everyone feels happy or at least satisfied that each person has had his say. Try to finish on a positive note.

♥ If need be, say, if the discussion becomes to fire up, walk away for a while until everyone cools off, then come back when you are all ready to do so.

♥ Hugs may be in order, if you need to say "sorry" or to admit to being wrong, do so.

I have learned that, if issues go on without resolution, other issues come along and snowball into really huge problems. When issues are confronted as soon as possible, they dissolve and often never arise again.

Good luck everybody - happy communications!